I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
