He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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