Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
