he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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