you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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