yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize