i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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