im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
