you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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