Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
