Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
