I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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