WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
