U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
