I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.