Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though