My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16