yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO