"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
