i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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