i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
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I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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