i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
