I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
