Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
