NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
