I'm gonna have a badass scar
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
