and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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