But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
