i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
