I seem to have left my pride at pride
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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