so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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