if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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