I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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