fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
