true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
