Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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