Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
