I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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