is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize