I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
