Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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