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the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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