last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
