Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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