No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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