We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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