He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My bed smells like the plague
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
