Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
