I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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