I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
