If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
