Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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