tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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