i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
