just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
