I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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