I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
