We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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