Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
