i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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