OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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